I distinctly remember the first time I adopted "LadyLilth" as my username for various sites. I was 13. The first of these sites was VampireFreaks.com and I came across this name when I did a "what stereotype are you and what would you call yourself"- type quiz on Quizilla (before it underwent changes that made it confusing and annoying as fuck to use) because I was bored. My result was something along the lines of "omfg ur a goth and u call urself lady lilth lol". I don't think I need to explain any further.

I later realized (because I was a bit slow when I was younger - not that much has changed, hah) that the creator of the quiz had actually misspelled the name "Lilith" a rather cliched sort of name that's quite popular (by that I mean well-known and probably used by a rather large number of females at some point in their lives) in the alternative communities that like to focus on the darker things in life. Lilith was apparently the first wife of Adam who turned evil or something along those lines as well as a daemon of sorts. Go figure.

Anyway, I admit, that name was a bit like a pair of shoes I once had. I liked the idea of owning them before I got them, but afterwards I realized that they didn't quite fit my feet; but I kept them anyway, thinking and hoping that perhaps they only needed to be broken into and that one day, they would fit. The name was... impersonal. It didn't hold any sort of meaning for me. Instead of growing in, it seemed that I was growing out of it the longer I used it. I wasn't faithful to it over the past four years. I tried out other usernames and found one that fit me a bit more than this one and also had a bit more meaning. I won't mention it on here, though because... well... I'd like to keep it to myself, I guess (but if you come across it by accident, I won't object).

Moving on, I've always had "A Jar Full of Spyders" floating around in my head and I've already used it on various occasions. This means a lot more to me than "LadyLilth" not only because I thought of it myself, but because there's a special meaning behind it (to me, not to you). That being said, I've also found a nom de plume for myself, "Frederique January". The name itself doesn't hold any special meaning - it just randomly popped into my head. But... it just sounds so interesting. I was originally going to use it for a new character... but then the selfish in me went "miiiiine" and well... now it's my nom de plume. Or at least a nom de plume that I'd like to try out...

And now we get to the point of this entry. I want to abandon the username "LadyLilth" and start afresh under the username "A Jar Full of Spyders" and this means that I will purge this account in the near future. Some stuff will be moved to the new account. Some will be removed off the 'nets forever and ever. I'm planning to take a little break from art because I've realized that my recent stuff isn't as good anymore, I'm not happy with it. I'm going to start sixth form soon, in a different village, and I will be home later. Not only that, but I've decided to pursue an IB Diploma, which means that I take two extra courses than the normal four and will most likely have a lot of schoolwork. I've decided to give it my all this time (I was only working at about 90% before) because I've finally realized and accepted the fact that I'm growing up, that I'm already pretty much grown up. I want to succeed and I think I'm ready to take that responsibility into my own hands now. So I will be busy. And my focus won't be on what to draw next or whether or not I can pull off a poem.

I'd like nothing more than to lie around and do artsy stuff all day but let's be honest here, I won't be able to feed myself if I did that. Nor will I get close to the pathology/psychology/veterinary field, either. So this is how it's going to be. I will be even less active than I already am. I just thought I'd mention it.